it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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