Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
