He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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