i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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