he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
