dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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