remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
