we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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