Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
