how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
