I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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