But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
