Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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