i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
