the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
