i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
