I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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