I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
