i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize