Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
