just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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