We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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