i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
last night I used snow as a chaser
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
