Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
