what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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