Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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