I can't watch pbs sober anymore
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
