You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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