oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
