In the future we'll all be gay
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
