If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
