shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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