Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
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