Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
