Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
