She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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