Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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