Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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