Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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