youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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