i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
