She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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