I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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