When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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