Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
