So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
