Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
