There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
