He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
