okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
