What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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