I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think my moral compass just broke
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