A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
