My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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