hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
