I'm drive I can fine osifer
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
