I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
