Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
