I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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