you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
