I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You have to summon your inner elephant
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
