im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
