Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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